Empress Sassy

posted by EmpressSassy on Mar 31

OK, so life at 40 was not that big of a change, but as I’m getting older I’m noticing that I just don’t get caught up in the drama any longer and I’m starting to realize I truly don’t care what people think of me.  Now don’t get me wrong, I know that I have to care when I’m at work in the sense that I have a professional responsibility, blah, blah, blah, but that’s the thing; I was raised to do a good job and do my work.  In the end that pays off.  If you work hard you are rewarded (well at some companies anyway).

In my personal life however I have decided that I’m tired of explaining myself.  Do you ever get tired of doing that?  Am I the only one that does that to friends or family?  Are you the odd one out in your family?  I don’t know but here is the thing; I am who I am and I don’t see me changing.  I have weird eating habits so if you don’t want to go eat with me don’t ask me to dinner or don’t invite me over, but if you do lets not discuss me eating habits like I’m a space alien OK?

I’m single, I’m not diseased, I’m single and it’s by choice.  I’m raising a 4 year old and I’m dedicated to the cause.  I’m not a martyr about it, but it’s just what it is right now and I don’t have time to give myself to anyone else right now so lets not point that out to me every chance we get OK?  IF, and that is a big IF, someone comes along I guess that means God thinks it’s time and we’ll see what happens.

I have phobias; fear of frogs, fear of clowns, I’m not fond of looking in the mirror in the dark (I have no idea!), I freak out over the Exorcist and the Omen, but here is the thing; these are my phobias and you don’t have to get them.  Just respect them and allow me to have them.  Let’s not try to cure me or help me with them OK?

I have religious beliefs and they are mine.  I don’t discuss them in detail as, what did I just say, Oh that’s right they are mine.  I like to discuss various options and beliefs, but that does not make me a non-believer.  Lets not assume that because I question or doubt that I’m a non-believer OK? 

Don’t ask me a question about your personal life, your work life or any other topic unless you want me to answer it honestly.  If you want a “pretty” answer go ask one of your superficial friends.  That is not what I do.  If you don’t like this about me then don’t ask me.  I don’t just give advice  - I give it when we are talking about it or you ask me.  If you don’t want it don’t ask for it OK?

I’m not moody on purpose, I’m a girl.  Do you know girls?  I know lots and I’m not different than any other girls I know.  I’m overworked, I don’t get enough sleep, I have too many things I need to do and not enough time to do the things I want to do.  I stress over money, time, relationships, children, the economy, aging, parents, you name it I think about it.  I’m a constant thinker. 

I’m not going to change.  Did I have a chance in my 20’s?  Sure, but guess what I’m past 40 and I like me.  I’ve decided I’m not going back to fix anything and I’m just going to move forward with the “ME” I have.  I try every day to be a decent person and guess what, sometimes I slip up.  I do make mistakes and when I do I try to make them right.  If you get mad at me, you will get over it or you will move on.  I can’t make you stay and I can’t make you like me if you don’t want to.

Well that is that and it is what it is!  Hope that clears things up because I’ve decided  I’m done explaining myself to many people.  Overall I’m not that bad on a weekly basis and for the most part I think I’m just tired of justifying my life.  We can only ask for forgiveness to the one that matters and after that it’s out of our hands.